Muay Thai

So I am in the process of getting ready for a Muay Thai class! I am actually really nervous. I missed the beginners introductory session yesterday because I felt lazy and also thought I couldn't have gone. So I am kind of feeling lazy again to skip it, but at the same time there is a part of me that really would like to go! I am curious as to what I will happen. I like to fight and do some combat, but only if I am comfortable with someone. I don't know if this is like really one to one, I don't even know if I can continue the sessions if they classes are too expensive. I don't even know if it will be really intense either!

I have been so lazy and unmotivated the past six months. I am being a tad more productive, but at the same time, I know I flunked my chemistry class. So I just decided, I probably will retake the class. I got C's in two classes during the spring semester. 😞. I am smart enough, but I did not study hard enough or arrived on time to anything consistently.
I am itching for change! I am itching for some structure and discipline! If I could have a personal assistant nag me to get things done in life, like wish I could! Imagine the things I could accomplish. I admire people who don't have that, but they get so much done.
I don't have a job. I am doing worse in classes. I think the only thing to do is find my real drive and passions. I am getting better with not making excuses, but it's still something I have trouble eliminating. I know when I look back at my past, I remember the things I did, but never the 20 or 40 feelings of doubt I had with the things I accomplished or failed to do. This perspective will hopefully help me stop overthinking. If I am going to do it, I go forth, and if I don't, I won't. Sometimes it's good to try and fail, because those lessons teach something more valuable than the words from a book. I don't think I will drink or smoke things until I find that sense of continued balance. Not like I have a problem with it, but I want to eliminate the extra chances of me falling by partaking in those things.
  Thing is, yes I'm still young, but I am young mentally.... I don't have all the skills I need to be the most productive member of society, so I need to remember that Everytime I want to be bad. I need to remember that temporary discomfort of working and pushing through my fears is more rewarding than staying the same. Doing the same things that contribute to the feelings of being inadequate.
There you have it, wish me look, I have a belief that this session will probably be a one time thing... but I will update later as to how the class went :).
Hopefully something goes wrong, I will be courageous enough to stand up for the good.